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another day has gone by...wanting to move on....and leave...but yet something always holds you back...why?...why can I just get up and leave...fade away into the unknown darkness?...who cares if i have to go alone...i know its something i hate being alone...such loneliness it hurts..but after a while I guess you become immune to it...i don't like it though...i hate the silence i hate the loneliness...please someone come and tell me that they are there for me...it would be nice to see another living soul... a kind soul...there to give me a hug...or even just a couple words...to feel some kind of warmth again...because i feel frozen inside cold...as if I'm not alive...please someone come...is there someone out there?...please come and save me...for i may go insane alone...

so many things that can be said....

SHUT UP!!!!!...I'm sick of it all all of the crap.!!!! everything people say about me why cant they just all get a life AND GET THE HELL OUT OF MINE?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!!? I don't care what you have to say...and if you have to say something then say it TO MY FACE!!...yea I could say some things to you but I won't because I don't want anymore problems...even though you know what is going on why we are doing this...you say things!!!!! it's not cool! Ugh i just feel like screaming!!! I'm sick of it!!!!! WHY DO YOU THINK YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY THINGS?? TALK ABOUT PEOPLE BEHIND THEIR BACK...THINKING YOUR SO DAM PERFECT...THINKING YOUR SO BETTER THEN US...YOU KNOW SOMETHING NO ONE CARES WHAT YOU SAY SOMETIMES...SOMETIMES THE THINGS YOU SAY ARE JUST NONSENSE!...I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WENT AND OPENED YOUR MOUTH TO OTHERS..I FINALLY UNDERSTAND WHY OTHERS DON'T BELIEVE IN THE "F" WORD no not that "F" word...THE "FRIEND" WORD...it truly hurts...it angered me so much...arrrggggh I want to just go and run or punch something!...ugh i need help i think i might just snap right here...why!...its so frustrating because you try and try so hard to keep your head up and then people say things that hurt you...yea i know i shouldn't let it get to me but when you see how it affects the ones you love...its hard...ugh I'm so mad right now!...so many things people would like to say to you but I'm not going to...

HEADS OR TAILS..

Looking at life...tears start forming in my eyes...seeing how much has changed over the years...The whole world seems to have changed...whether it is family, friends, yourself, and special someones..just looking at everything its amazing how we can change as we grow up and mature. Some relationships your have with people grow stronger and some just fade away into nothing..but its only life...it changes and we can't loose our faith...right?...never let out guard down...pick up your chin...don't look down...don't runaway...look up...everyday is a new opportunity for life...flip a coin...heads or tails...don't be afraid to face life...take your time...don't be so alone...keep holding on tight...don't look away...keep going...keep fighting...you will see that in the end it will pay off.....

FAKE FRIENDS

You know something that I really hate is when people talk about you and say things about you when they don't even understand or know what the hell your going through...what things you are doing in order to keep going or move on...it really angered me because I mean when you confide in someone you would expect them to keep it quiet and not go and blab it to others who have no right to know what is going...they have no right to talk about the things I confide in them...are those truly friends? The ones who you trust with and then you find out that they have been talking about you behind your back...saying things that are not even true...you find out that you have been in almost half of everyone conversations...and it really hurts...it felt like a sharp knife...it truly hurt me when I found this out because they don't understand what I'm going through...it's been very hard and I have struggled to keep going and to keep my head up...but when I found out the things they said...about me...about my family...it was like they hit a nerve...a sharp excruciating pain...a shot of pain going through my body...my muscles tensing up and my fists clenching together...so much rage and anger building up inside it feels like a sickening ride...everything spinning...you feel dizzy...you want it to stop spinning but it keeps spinning non stop...what can you do when you find out your "friends" didn't turn out to be REAL friends...?? Can someone explain this to me?