Black and White paper roses

I linger in the hallway...
eyes closed...
All I can hear are these monsters screaming my name over and over.
Let me stay in here in the woods where I sit...
The breeze blowing through my dark curls...
it's whisphering to me.
As I watch the rain drops fall each one is a story..
They each tell a story...
Just like my dark eyes gave this deep story within..
Running through a field of black and white paper roses.
Dark, gray clouds lingering above...
Laying in the grass in silence..
hearing my heart beat slowly and painfully..
pounding in my head...
watching the sky spin around faster and faster.
Rain drops streaming down my face mixing along with my black tears.
Washing away all of my fears.
What is keeping me here hollow inside?
Is there someone there watching me?
Pulling me down...
My heart still pounding in my head...
bleeding slowly..
Living in this made up world in order to escape and feel less.
I've been laying here for hours..watching the sky fly over me..
I've been swallowed up in the sound of my screaming.
I long for the deep sleep dreaming so then I'm free for a bit.
Laying here in my field of black and white paper roses.
I will lay here until someone helps me up...
...if anyone does that that is.
..if not I'll lay here forever..

corners

There's a cold dark corner in the back of my room, it speaks to me and says I'm coming for you. As I lie on my bed in the fetal position, my eyes are closed hoping and wishing. Maybe that one day my dreams will come true, that I don't have to be here so down and blue. The corner keeps talking about how I'm going to die, all I can do is lie there and cry. As the corner gets closer and takes me in, my soul starts to burn as so does my skin. My bones shall lie there turning to dust, my bed surrounding nothing but rust.

Rain

I sit and watch as the rain falls from a sky so dark and gray Is this life a crying sky if so, not even I can fight I'm tired of hurting I'm tired of tears I'm tired of being alone for all these years I want peace and I want love I want to break free to fly above!

forever darkness

if the dark side fills the light of the sun you will start to feel weak in your knees and there is nobody there to help you up even when you say please the light you had, starts to become dark seeing something right outside your clear window is the shadow of the tree's bark looking right outside your window you see the moon shining real bright to see if the darkness will go away soon but when you have nothing to say you just want to break down into small pieces and stay some say that "love is pure to the heart" others say that "it disappears and parts" but you say it both then the love doesn't know what to do so now that you know what can happen to you remember this saying "only one heart can spread it into two

why cry?

The grass is billowing by the steed. The night is so very clear. all I really, really need. is to know what is there. The moon is shining brilliantly white. the stars are twinkling everywhere. so why am I crying on this beautiful night? I am crying because I dont know what is there

lost

Do you know what it feels like to be left behind? losing everyone around you in such little time. I try not to worry since they're left in the past but it's hard going through life knowing nothing ever lasts. It's hard to hide behind this frown, When on the inside you're on the verge of a breakdown. I've lost everyone that meant the world to me. All I have left of them are these memories. You have no idea how badly I want them back. But they've left me in the past which was their plan of attack. The pain of losing them will never go away. I'm tired of feeling like this everyday. I feel like I no longer belong. I fake my happiness to show nothings wrong

starting over

remembering everything...everything I HAVE LOVED AND EVERYTHING I HAVE HATES...I WAS GIVEN AWAY AS IF I JUST wasn't enough..words have been said...but is there room to forgive? how could i have been hurt again? what happened? how did they get in? why was she given up? what if she truly is trying her hardest? cant u see it? why did i take a chance of proving something? why cant we learn to love? what if we try starting over one more? make things right this time? give it one more shot...just start over again...look into my eyes you can see a change in me...please can we start over and forget the stupid things? the hollow emptiness inside me was made by your mistakes...its really hurting me. you took it too far...look into my eyes..start again..lost inside this twisted maze...why do you insist on hating? why do you hold on to the grudge? why? LET IT GO! JUST LET IT GO! GIVE IT ANOTHER TRY...repeat it over n over...forgive and forget! do it already! what are you waiting for??? do it!! start over again! erase it blank

remember me?

you knew me once but if you've forgotten look into my eyes...remember me? do you? speak at once...hearing a voice...maybe my heart n self will recognize it...but yet i cannot hear anything...changed but yet caught in the past...memories...the promises...living in the yesterday instead of the today...but i know i shouldn't cry for the yesterday...making my way to the light...cant seem to be able to walk away...because after knowing it...how can one pretend to not know the truth? as it it was just a dream...ill never forget it...how it felt when we were all smiling and laughing...memories ...belonging there in the happiness...I watch you disappear leaving behind this emptiness within me and i cant even turn back time even though sometimes we all wish we could. nothing compares to it ...not wanting to let go of the ledge...never..am i the same after everything? i cant walk away and just fall of the edge...no I'm not the same anymore....

don't knw u

maybe when the heart stops bleeding it'll stop hurting...then you just wouldn't need to answer back to no one...dnt wnt 2 b alone..someday you'll gt sick of it all because you say it as if everything is all right when we all know that it is not. YOU'LL probably still be pretending like you are now not knowing what to say...I think I'm going to let go...because its just hurting us more...hurting me more..i don't know why I LET YOU FOR SOME MANY YEARS DO THIS...I don't even know who you are! ...who are you? leave me alone and go away.. cant you see you have won!?... I Can still hear your evil voice laughing your evil laugh triumphal... stop it! stop it!...screaming into the night but no one listens to me...i don't wanna hear you anymore...! stop it! stop it!! i cant take your crap anymore!!!!! its making me sick to my stomach! I just cant anymore...

don't pretend

I wake up in the middle of the night...staring up at the ceiling...another bad dream..I just wish for the strength to me alive and help me go back to sleep another fraud another fake...it all turned out to be it always was but everyone was blinded by your mask only I Could see the REAL YOU...What keeps someone sane when they Feel they are going insane?...someones calling my name...just been cast away...they wouldn't understand they'll never truly see what I truly am...what YOU truly are... stop pretending like you care stop making people believe that you even care cause I know the truth you don't anymore actually i don't think you ever did...we all live in a world that judges all that they see...in this place that only seems to drag you down..I'm sorry if I'm not good enough person..if you only knew then maybe you'd understand... but I'm not okay anymore...its broken me inside...its been a rough journey and Ive finally broken. stop it! stop pretending anymore your mask will fall down someday n reveal the truth!

All you get is nothing

Locks of dark curls fall-into place. right in the mid center of my face. They cover my forehead and my eyes. They act as my armor, my shiny disguise. My reflection against people looking down on me. I don't want them to see the inner beauty. I'm forced to walk down the halls as if in a trance. People form opinions about me with just a glance. They wear their glasses rose-tinted, so they will never really see just how much it hurts to be me. On a daily basis, I cry and try to forget the things that have happened that will never admit, not parents, friends, or family. These things will be buried with me, I will keep them secret until the end. And by doing so my heart will never be free to mend. I scream out, but no one is allowed to hear. The sound in my voice is full of fear. I'm Terrified to keep going, but i will not give in. My body is full of hatred, and fear. When you look at me, what do you see in my eyes? please tell me.

Mystery of a Dark Beauty

She though she'd meet again with her old self...she had said she would be there...
touching the deepest part of their souls. The deepest places unknown or spoken of. Can someone tell us why she is so dark inside? Where are these missing pieces that have been ripped from her? Left behind is this mystery if a dark beauty. Everything she's kept deep inside shines through her eyes but you see all and nothing..just a mystery..it makes you want more...but all there is is darkness and the unknown. She doesn't understand the pain inside..the blood on her hands, She's paralyzed...she cannot escape from it..it pulls, no, drags her in... seeing nothing...no one she knows...looking for a familiar face but she has been forgotten...she's become a shadow.. she is all she know...what do they know? It's all gone buried underneath...somewhere scattered around are the pieces..those missing pieces,,,the mystery of this Dark Beauty is somewhere within...

blaring lights

I won't ever forget this...I should have seen it coming...blaring lights all around me flashing...opened up and another piece of me has been ripped out. Tearing me down...no one can hear me...bleeding and choking...it's sickening..I'll never forget it all...why can't I forget it ? It all becomes a huge blur makes me sick...making me die slowly inside

Fight Within Herself

There's an enemy, a familiar frown,
everything is just loud. The truth is there but all you hear are the dark evil voices whispering lies and it just hurts me the inside makes me bleed even more. Everything I have feared...what I'm trying to, what I've said and what I have heard. All of this pain I want it to stop already. Please just end it! But it finds me again. It rages in through my veins. I try to change but I've stayed the same and I still feel the pain. I've gained absolutely nothing. Everyone seems to know how it'll end..but me. I know nothing. I try not to do it, not to fall but it always happens again...pulls me under..breaks me...nothing and everything..what is it? NOTHING! It's pulling me and hurting me again....
breaking me..cutting me...bruising me...
I'm falling apart...