Pretenders, Haters, and Backstabbers

How much I hate pretenders who show one face when they are in front of you and then a different face to others. Or they take you words and personal life and twist them way out of proportion and then you find out that your in the mouth of others. Something you confided is out in the open. Its so ridiculous really I mean if you are not going to say anything nice then why even say it! Makes me so angry and sick inside. Because I hate backstabbers who say to be your friends and then you find out it was all a lie..I'm done believing in friends... because they are all haters~! Pretenders, Haters, and Backstabbers that's all they are...! And they are all haters and got nothing better to do than talk crap about others. Just so that they can feel superior or better of themselves and their pitiful lives! Talk talk talk all you want but I'm done listening to all of your stupid lies! I'm done believing in all of you haters and pretenders and backstabbers because that is all you are and all you will EVER be... so if you have nothing to say get out of my face and stop hating on me. You don't see me hating on you or talking about you...whatever I'm done listening to all of your lies because it is all CRAP!!!!! LIES!!!! ....pretenders, haters, and backstabbers...sad to say that it was you will be FOREVER!....your mask has been uncovered and your true self has been revealed... your true identity shows clearly...and frankly its very shady!

It wasn't enough

It wasn't enough to just saying it... it wasn't enough to feel it..nor pay the bitterness with my own life...It wasn't enough to abandon my dreams and leave them behind... selling you soul just so you could live on with your own life...No it wasn't enough just live..betraying the silence for you and even so you leave and I'm left talking to myself...Today I just can't lie to myself anymore and I understand that you try to make me not be happy..As if I'm not meant to feel happiness..you have ripped me of my happiness...Every single time they look into my eyes.. all they ever look for was to see their own reflection and not the person behind those eyes... Nothing ever mattered... feeling nothing and everything... no it wasn't enough... you've left... and I can't lie to myself no more... guess it is time that takes you.. no it wasn't enough to live... here I am talking to myself. Never were happy with me..I don't understand why? All I ever did was try and try but no, I guess it just wasn't enough for them...

A Corner

I've changed numbers, friends and habits to flee from the past...to forget it all... like the light shining through the trees...like the day before it'll snow... I'll jump over the obstacles...but everything I felt was left in a corner... even though I know you will never admit what you did... I'm just a forgotten detail that you have erased...and no one will know who you truly are... Even thought the rage boils inside me...what did I ever do to you?... Why did you cause me so much pain?... Memories I wish I could just take and leave them in a corner and just rewire my mind. From this day on I will forever be confused but will somehow be strong. Free from everything and you... I will fight back and show you I can.. I may fall but I will get up... I may bruise and bleed but I won't fail.. I may break down sometimes but I will look up to the dark sky and regain strength to get back up...

Listen carefully

Once again I thought of it...it seems years since we have spoken...that we've really truly spoken.. it just seems to happen.. no one is like me inside...listen carefully to the message its for all to hear... tell me if anyone is there... I know that there will be no alternative way... I know I just... I've looked everywhere... I've waited for so long for someone to say " It's okay, take my hand and keep going." it's been erased...Everyone has flown away as if I'm a plague or a curse.. Listen carefully to what I have to say and tell me is there someone there? I don't belong here anymore...wait I guess I never really did... you may say things about me but you will never see what happens now...no, you will not have an alternative way anymore...the mask is forever stuck on your face...this is who you are and who you will ALWAYS be...

Completely lost

Speak... don't make me wait for a response... tell me if everything is lost... I've believed, I've listened.. a huge mistake with a high price... I've believed that I'm not that once happy joyful girl I once was... my face buried behind my hands... emotions beating intensely inside of me... Speak.. please make it stop destroying me inside...just how I helped you long ago... and say if it is all gone.. all the suffering... it's a breath of oxygen that screams at you... I need those emotions to come back to me somehow some way, in my hands, inside my head... in my muscles... emotions running through your veins... I trust that someday I'll re-discover them inside me...I know they are all still there within me...deep inside... That's how it will be..speak to me...I've lost it...but maybe its not completely lost....

Time

Rain pours down on the seam...the clocks ticking back...footsteps left behind...can you see the tears crawling off their cheeks?... We fall back to the ground... collapsed under the pouring rain... Do you see what you have done?... To bad one can't take back all the pain that someone else has caused... you can't and that is what kills you inside... disappearing like snowflakes falling from the sky...