Completely lost

Speak... don't make me wait for a response... tell me if everything is lost... I've believed, I've listened.. a huge mistake with a high price... I've believed that I'm not that once happy joyful girl I once was... my face buried behind my hands... emotions beating intensely inside of me... Speak.. please make it stop destroying me inside...just how I helped you long ago... and say if it is all gone.. all the suffering... it's a breath of oxygen that screams at you... I need those emotions to come back to me somehow some way, in my hands, inside my head... in my muscles... emotions running through your veins... I trust that someday I'll re-discover them inside me...I know they are all still there within me...deep inside... That's how it will be..speak to me...I've lost it...but maybe its not completely lost....