Counting the Minutes

Laying here wide awake...counting the minutes...the hours..waiting for the sun to rise and kiss the sky good morning. I'm already thinking about the day ahead..what needs to be done, what I have to do, where I need to go and such....making plans in my head already to stop the numbing, aching feeling...to get my mind off it...already fighting and encountering thoughts that are a thousand miles away...just have to have something to do to distract me..of everyday life...sometimes I find an excuse to be alone and just get away...to be alone and think...without having someone try to bring me down...trying to break me ...but I won't let you...no...I find myself staring out the window...thinking...of everything...trying to get through the through the maze of rights and wrongs...I look into the mirror and don't recognize the girl staring back. I see sadness, pain, and anger in her eyes...I don't recognize her. My head is screaming hate....shame...I hope I get out this....I'm sick of it all...still counting the minutes...the hours until the sun comes up...once more another day to live..count the minutes and hours until the sun goes down and out comes the moon kissing the sky goodnight...another night of reckless sleep...of not being able to sleep...juts laying here wide awake counting the minutes and hours until the sun rises again.