NEVER CARED

Today was a BAD day...my head feels like its going to explode!...I'm so frustrated with everything...I don't know what to do...I'm sick of all of your crap...everything is ridiculous..everything I do seems to backfire at me...seeing you today standing before the judge...and hearing you say things that were untrue...made my skin cringe....made my blood boil.....I hate you!...Why didn't you leave me alone...why did you pull us apart huh? why? There is so much rage inside me right now...you need serious help you do... you cant keep running forever...you truly need some physiological help or something because everything has gone far enough..I can't believe the pain you have caused..didn't you think? don't you care? I guess the answer is obvious that you didn't care...you NEVER did...my hands shake as I write this..sometimes I just cry because of the pain...the frustration...I'm so hurt...I try to be strong and brave but sometimes I just can't anymore I want someone to tell me its going to be alright but sometimes I don't even know anymore...i feel lost and confused...Why did i have to go through this?...What did i do? All I ever did was care and try to help you out...but then again this isn't the first time you have screwed me over...I guess that what you are good at putting on your stupid innocent face and having people feel sorry for you and they help you and then what do you do? you screw them over too. I feel so down right now i don't know what to do. I feel like crying but I have no tears left..I feel like screaming but my voice is gone...i feel like hitting something but what good will that do...ugh this sucks...forgive and forget god how that is so hard to do...it truly is...I try to forget it but it always somehow creeps back in...you always seem to cause problems and remind me of these dark things i have tried to forget and leave in the past...I'm so lost and confused and hurt...but I guess you never cared and you never will...i hope that someday you will realize the mistakes you have done and change and remember of all the times i tried helping you but you refused...I feel sorry for you i truly do.